I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be. An example – I was a Room Parent for many of my sons (I have three boys) grammar school years. I am no longer the car pool Mom getting my sons to and from practices, several nights a week. I am no longer that woman in the grocery store with the overfilled cart buying a week’s worth of groceries to feed my army of sons and their friends.
And now, my middle and youngest sons are graduating in June. As a result, I graduate too.
No more winter or spring breaks to coordinate, no more long summer breaks to figure out what our vacation plans might be…..Now what’s happening is they are looking for full time jobs in different states and I am wondering what the heck I am suppose to do?
No one else is waiting on deck.
No one tells you the ‘empty nest’ syndrome is not when the kids go off to college. Yes, it does feel a little strange to not have them home for dinner and off at college, but they come back every few months for holiday breaks and summer time. No….the true ‘empty nest’ is actually when they graduate from college. It is really at that point that you get a little off balance.
So now I get to reinvent my new persona. Maybe this is the kick off of my mid-life crisis and I need a convertible? Maybe I need a vacation home or a smaller house and less to be responsible for? I have quite a bit of equity in my home and it might be time to sell and move to a new place with a view or an ocean breeze. All of this sounds like a lot of work, but so does sitting in the same spot and treading water. I have to be open to new ideas, thoughts and actions or I will end up like some of those other people who’s lives become smaller and smaller. They don’t stay relevant – they are not engaged. I don’t want to be that person. It’s time to assess and change.
If you are commuting to work every day because your house is in the best school district for your kids, who have since graduated from college……you don’t need that school district anymore. Why keep making that drive every day? It seems like that drive, risk on the road, wear and tear on your car, wear and tear on you because of the stress would be awful. What if you were able to sell your house and use the equity to buy something closer to work? Maybe use the balance of your equity to buy a small place nearby that special golf course or fishing hole or whatever that perfect spot might be for you?
It seems to make a great deal of sense to me as I type this to really assess my long term plans and make some decisions to benefit me for a change. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and would do anything for them, but they are not asking me to sit and wait for them to need me. I did my best with them, they have the necessary tools to go forward in life and make their own way. I will be there when they need me, but I don’t have to be sitting by the phone waiting for them to call me. That’s not what I think this time of my life is supposed to be for. I think I am supposed to grab life with both hands and participate!
Think about where you are and where your kids are at this time in your life and if you need me to help you look at options, I am happy to help. I got a lot of time on my hands and look forward to working through the next steps right alongside you!